


The Meet Cute

by yesterdaysbeef



Category: The Mighty Boosh RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-05
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-30 04:12:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5149847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yesterdaysbeef/pseuds/yesterdaysbeef
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As everyone know, I (Eleanor the Tour Whore) have intimate knowledge of the boys that I keep close to my magnificent bosom.  I would never betray the trust the boys have given me (that's why we use a safe word), but I thoughts I'd give you a another little peek into the beginning of their partnership.  As with "At First Sight", we're going to pretend that this is a work of fiction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Meet Cute

Julian is working on the science of being just drunk enough to perform on stage without freezing up or throwing up on the audience (or himself). He’s learning through trial and error.

He is trying to get back to the bar when he does a double-take. The boy is entirely too distinctive-looking. His nose is flat and strange, and his eyes are luminescent. It’s been months since their encounter, but Julian still thinks too often of those bright eyes gazing up at him while the boy was enthusiastically sucking Julian’s cock.

And he vividly remembers how quickly the boy had come in Julian’s hand. Julian had never had a chance to reciprocate the world-class blowjob (with a surely inferior attempt), because Julian had still been giving the kid a feel-up through his pants when he’d shuddered and collapsed into Julian’s arms. Julian isn’t fool enough to think he or his hand were enough to inspire such a powerful reaction. It had only been the beer deadening his responses that had kept Julian from coming two seconds after he’d felt a warm mouth on his cock in a moderately secluded alleyway. The post-gig high and the danger of messing around in an actual back alley always made for an exciting experience, but trying it with a man had taken it to a whole new level. Julian had always held an appreciation for attractive men, but he had never taken it past the occasional snog before Pretty Eyes.

It had seemed a safe enough endeavor. The boy and his friends had clearly been out of their element and Julian had never expected to see any of them again, and yet now he is looking at all three of them with an hour to go before he hits the stage. 

Julian is grateful to have a fairly forgettable face. He’s tallish, thinnish, darkish, with curlyish hair, all in shades of brown and beige. He ducks his head and tries to casually move towards the backstage. He can see the door to his “dressing room” (closet with a mirror) when he walks straight into Pretty Eyes’ friend, who also has rather startlingly pretty eyes. 

“Hey, Julian. Dave. We met a few weeks ago.”

Julian tries to smile, but it feels like a grimace. There is no indication in Dave’s face that he knows what happened between Julian and Pretty Eyes, but he recognizes Dave’s flares. They have a half-dozen minor embellishments that do not look prefabricated. They are the same flares Pretty Eyes had been wearing when Julian had made him come in his pants. Julian often feels overwhelmed by social niceties, and this particular situation is well out of his range.

Julian wants to flee, but Pretty Eyes has already joined them.

“Julian,” Pretty Eyes says in an oddly soft voice before cheerfully adding, “We’re back for more!”

“Um, yeah… Thanks…”

“Noel.”

Noel’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes, and Julian feels like an ass. He remembers so much about Noel, but nothing that can be repeated in front of Dave. Especially not if they have the kind of relationship that involves sharing clothes. He doesn’t get a romantic vibe between the two, but they are clearly close. A former couple? Friends with benefits?

“I’d better go save Nigel,” Dave says with a knowing smile. “He was trying to get to the bar, and I think there may have been a stampede.”

Julian watches Dave walk away with a bit of admiration. He’s a good-looking man.

“Oi! I’m over here!” 

Julian jumps at the firm tone from Noel. It is a sharp contrast from the demure, flirty tone he has come to expect.

“He’s wearing your clothes,” Julian says, for the sake of filling the air. Noel looks appropriately confused, but then a smile lights his face.

“Technically, they belong to him, but he lets me borrow everything. He knows I get bored easy,” Noel explains with a sweet and earnest tone. “He’s genius.” 

Julian smiles at the word ‘genius.’ He remembers Noel having called Julian genius. Julian and Dave rated the label of genius, along with David Bowie, lager, chili, and using a nearly empty beer can as an ashtray.

Julian’s stomach flips when the crowd bursts into raucous laughter. He hadn’t noticed there was a comedian on the stage. The man behind the mic is familiar, but Julian does not recall his name. He really needs to get better at remembering names if he’s going to get anywhere in his career.

“I need another drink,” Julian says, trying to sound relaxed even though he is beginning to feel dizzy. The stage fright he’d had playing in a band was nothing compared to what he feels as a comedian. Bombing as a comedian is the kind of pain only a masochist would seek out.

Noel follows Julian’s eye line towards Julian’s “dressing room.” 

“You get a dressing room and everything?” Noel observes with what appears to be sincere admiration. “I’m lucky if I can get a bucket to puke in.”

Julian vaguely remembers Noel talking about being a comedian, and feels guilty for forgetting. He thinks of Noel as the Art Student. 

“I’m headlining, I have my own dressing room, I have tens of fans… I’m pretty advanced in my career. You might want to start kissing my arse now, because I’m going places.”

Noel laughs and blushes, and Julian’s cock goes from intrigued to rock hard in an instant.

“Got enough to share?” Noel asks in a coquettish voice, gazing up at Julian through his pretty eyelashes. For all the odd angles to his face, there is something so lovely about Noel that it makes Julian want to actually stand up straight and act like a proper man.

Instead, he shrugs and gestures towards the door that says ‘Talent’.

Xxx

Julian glances at the clock. He’s got roughly forty minutes until he needs to be on stage.

He pulls Noel’s slightly-too-large flares from his slight body and wonders if they were also borrowed from Dave, but the sight of Noel in his tight Rolling Stones t-shirt and bright pink y-fronts is distracting enough to keep Julian on task. He boosts Noel onto the counter, between the microfridge and basket of grooming supplies that indicate Julian qualifies as ‘talent.’

“Your own little refrigerator?” Noel observes between desperate kisses. “You are big time.”

It is awkward in their tight quarters, but Julian bends over enough to mouth the impressive bulge in Noel’s pink pants, while Noel pulls at Julian’s hair and groans. Julian tries to cover Noel’s mouth, but ends up having his fingers sucked. 

As long as Noel is being quiet. 

Between Noel’s bucking hips and the wet sucking noises he makes as he sucks on Julian’s finger, it is impossible not to think about a proper fucking. Julian has tried anal sex with two girlfriends, with very different results. He doesn’t feel particularly skilled, but…

“Oh, fuck me, Julian,” Noel whimpers.

Noel seems game.

Julian slides Noel’s pants to the side and runs his wet fingers over Noel’s tight entrance, causing Noel to turn the air blue around them, but his cursing holds no hint of complaint, so Julian presses a finger inside. He continues to kiss and suck Noel’s cock and bollocks through his pants while gently working his finger in deeper. He is up to his second knuckle, but he can’t imagine fitting a second finger, much less his cock. 

“I’ve got some slippy stuff,” Noel whimpers. “In my pocket. On the floor.” He then lets out a hysterical peal of laughter and adds, “I’m such a slut.”

Julian doesn’t have time to argue semantics. He digs through Noel’s pockets and finds gum, flavored lip gloss, a fiver, a flier for the show with a blurry picture of Julian, a keychain with a single key and a student ID that reads ‘Noel Fielding,’ and finally two condoms and a one-time-use packet of lubricant. Julian chooses to believe the items were brought with him in mind. Why else would a beautiful young man carry a condom, other than the hope of being bummed by a moderately successful comedian? 

With the lubricant, Julian can easily work two fingers into Noel’s tight arse, and the young man whimpers and makes strangled sobbing noises as Julian works his fingers in and out, gently stretching and preparing him. 

Julian gets a bit lost watching his fingers disappear inside his partner, but Noel brings him back to reality with a hard, sloppy kiss on the mouth. Noel has barely touched his lager, and Julian can’t help thinking a bit more booze would make things go easier, but things are shady enough without Julian trying to pour drinks down his partner’s throat. 

Noel scoots himself off the countertop and kicks off his pants before turning his back to Julian. He’s bent over, with his legs spread in an unambiguous invitation, and Julian still has a good twenty minutes before he has to hit the stage.

“Just… say if you want me to stop,” Julian mumbles as he rolls a johnny onto his cock. Noel is giving him a sweet smile in the mirror that is entirely too distracting. 

“I’m tougher than I look.” 

It strikes Julian as a particularly meaningful statement, but the clock is ticking, so he tucks it away for a later date. A little more booze and a lot more lube, and Julian is able to slip the head of his cock into Noel, who immediately tenses up. Julian recognizes Noel’s expression from his not-so-great experience with anal, and he is prepared to call it quits and just jerk off on Noel’s surprisingly shapely rear, but Noel reaches back and puts his hand on Julian’s hip.

“Just… hang on,” Noel whispers. Julian had rather assumed Noel was experienced in this particular area, but now he is not so sure. Just because a man borrows another man’s trousers and gives an amazing back alley blowjob does not mean he’s accustomed to anal sex with strangers. 

“Why are you smirking?” Noel asks with a smile on his face but flint in his eyes. Julian mumbles something about “feeling philosophical,” but his tongue is dry and too large for his mouth.

Noel takes a deep breath and begins to push back against Julian. He frequently stops, but Julian rubs his sides and back and offers banal encouragements, such as “keep breathing” and “relax,” until Julian is deep inside and they are able to work up a kind of rhythm. It’s awkward and disjointed, but Noel is panting and red-faced, and it brings out an uncomfortably primal side in Julian. He grips Noel’s hips and takes him hard. Noel is skinny and bony, but he is far from delicate, and Julian enjoys being able to let go. Noel’s cock quickly hardens in Julian’s well-lubricated hand, and he keeps up a stream of nonsense profanity that Julian finds far more exciting than actual dirty talk. He doesn’t want Noel to be able to form complete thoughts, much less complete sentences.

“I’m gonna… fucking hell… fuck, this is… so close…” Noel’s fringe is clinging to his sweaty forehead and Julian catches him trying to fluff it back up.

“You can primp later,” Julian growls into Noel’s ear. Julian feels Noel’s whole body tighten as he comes on the mirror and Julian’s pack of fags. Noel giggles as Julian manages a few more thrusts before coming so hard he sees stars.

Noel wipes his semen from the plastic protecting the cigarette carton and says, “Good thing these guys were being safe.”

Julian is still literally bollocks deep in Noel, but he laughs out loud. A loud knock on the door and Lee’s voice yelling, “Five minutes, Barratt!” brings him back to reality. Julian looks at the clock and thanks whatever deity may exist that the act before him ran long. 

As Julian prepares to take the stage, Lee Mack elbows him in the ribs and points towards Noel, who is walking out of the men’s room looking a bit worse for wear.

“That’s Noel Fielding,” Lee says. “The kid I told you about. Remind me to introduce you. You’re like two peas in a pod.”

 

Xxx

Noel doesn’t dare look at Dave or Nigel, so he stares straight at Julian. Not at his face. He can’t possibly look Julian in the eye again, but he stares at Julian’s stomach and tries to pay attention. He feels like everyone must be able to tell exactly what he’s been up to, but Julian looks cool as a cucumber. Some water and a few paper towels and he was ready to take the stage, while Noel’s hair was plastered to his head and he felt so wet and stretched out he wasn’t sure he could safely sit down. His face feels scratched from Julian’s stubble, and he has a strange feeling like he might start crying, like his body hasn’t cleared itself of enough fluids in the past hour.

Dave elbows Noel and says, “That’s something you would say,” but whatever Julian has said has already gone out of Noel’s head. Even his brain is too wet and sloppy to retain information. 

“We’d make a good double act,” Noel laughs. “A whole show of absolute nonsense.”

Noel is surprised by how normal he sounds. He’s getting better at playing cool. Clearly, Julian Barratt has made a man of Noel Fielding. 

“You all right?” Nigel asks. “You’ve gone all red.”

Maybe not.


End file.
